I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
