tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
