do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
