i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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