is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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