Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
