I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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