just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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