you would pick up someone in the library
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize