Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
