he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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