Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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