I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
