I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
