Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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