Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Small penises have feelings too.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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