Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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