I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
