oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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