Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
