Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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