I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
