She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize