i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
