oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I AM VODKA MAN
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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