I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
