So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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