3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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