problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
