good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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