no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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