i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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