Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
