No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
