let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
