Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
