brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize
