i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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