I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
