why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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