I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
