He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
