When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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