I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
