Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
