At least make sure they are 18
Why
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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