worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
True college students do jello shots in the library
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
