and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
