just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
