i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
