Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
