The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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