Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
