ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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