My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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