My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
