i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
