Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
