So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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