Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
