I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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