it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
