I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
