so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
