do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
