it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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