'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
