Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
